4 tips to date intentionally

Dating with Intention as a Christian Woman

Look, let me be straight up, this has not been an easy thing for me to do. I think my intention was to date with intention, but I never got it right! When it comes to dating with intention, you have to have boundaries set for yourself and then you have to stick to them! That's the part I got wrong. Sure, I had great boundaries, ideas, and even goals, but I could not stick to them. I knew I was wanting to intentionally date to look for a life partner, but I was dating like somebody who just wanted to have fun. I've learned a few things on the way, and I have become better for it! Here are some tips (and the do nots that I did!) to help you out.

1. Acknowledgment

 Before anything else, you have to acknowledgment you are ready to intentionally date. I mean sit down and get real with yourself. Taking this step means you are beginning an aim for your future spouse. Beginning this means no more games and just dating for fun. It is a serious decision you should make for yourself! Honestly, the only kind of dating there should be is dating with the intention to marry. However, we are human, and we are nowhere perfect. As said before, I sucked at this. I did not take the time to really evaluate myself and my wants. I just plowed ahead and claimed I was dating intentionally! I was nowhere ready to date. Seriously, take the time to really think about this and your wants. You won't regret it. Also, it is okay to come to a conclusion and decide you are not ready to date. That is a totally acceptable thing to do!

2. Get your list in order

I'm sure you have all been told this. It's great to have a list of what you're looking for in a guy. A list gives a clear image of what you're looking for in your future life partner. This is how my list looks and yours won't look exactly like mine! Side note, just because a guy fits your list does not mean he is the one for you, and the guy for you may not fit your list perfectly! It is guidelines, not a contract. God gives us discernment for a reason.
  • Christian
  • Hard worker
  • Understanding
  • Funny
  • Ministry
  • Attraction (Honestly, everybody's attraction is different!)

3. Boundaries and Saying no

Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries! I think boundaires are very good things to have in your life. I think they are good, because Christ tells us to protect our hearts. Boundaries are just one way to do so. Boundaries will be unique to you. For me, a big boundary I set is to not date anybody who is not a christian or good for me. This protects me and protects my heart. When I used to date and I didn't  follow this boundary, I just got hurt. I was never fully comfortable dating somebody who was not a genuine christian either. On the other side of setting boundaries is saying no. This is not always easy. When you get asked out by a handsome guy that's funny, but not a christian, you may want to say yes. I would want to say yes. However, it wouldn't be best for our hearts! Standing firm in our boundaries is brave. Standing firm is good. Set your boundaries and stand firm in them.

4. Love yourself

More than anything in this blog, remember to love yourself. In this society, us girls get beat up. Trust who you are in Christ and everything else will fall into place. I know it is a cliché to say that God has a plan for you, but he does! Date with intention, but do not forget who you are or the God you serve. Him first always.


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